World Cup Fever

I can't go this week without professing my pride for our wonderful boys in white. They have done us proud.

Not only am I a footballer, myself, but I am a crazy mental sport nut. Therefore, I have been waiting for the FIFA World Cup finals with baited breath. Waiting to see how our All Whites would fare in their first appearance in 28 years. Waiting for the chance to, once again, see our boys competing on that world stage, a stage that was so high up in the grand scheme of things that, until 7 months ago, it seemed an impossible dream. Having not won or drawn a single match in our campaign of 82, a mere draw with Slovakia was our best chance of securing our first finals point for our history books. A feat comparable to catching a star.

Ranked 78th we are the 3rd lowest ranked team in the finals. The 2nd lowest is South Africa (83rd), who didn't have to qualify to enter (they are the host nation), and the bottom is Korea DPR at 105th. Compare that to the next lowest ranking team above us - Korea Republic at 47th - and you have a real indication of how nearly impossible our star is to reach, let alone catch. Add to that equation our pool: current world champions - Italy (ranked 5th), Paraguay (ranked 31st) and Slovakia (34th); and you realise our dream is light years away.

However, in the unbelievably dramatic final minute of extra time we somehow caught that star. Winston Reid scored the goal which drew our match with Slovakia and the universe was suddenly at our fingertips. One precious world cup final point and we have again surpassed our wildest dreams. With that we were satisfied. And a new pride descended upon our country while our neighbours wanted to claim our success as theirs... Australasians indeed!

On the eve of our showdown with reigning world champions it became apparent how much this point had affected our people. New Zealanders, who previously had no interest in football (yes even our artists), who didn't think we had a chance in hell of beating the Italians let alone drawing with them, made their plans to get up at 2am anyway. Many Kiwis, who were not really aware of the enormity of the feat our boys faced, only really wanted to have a look to see what the fuss was all about. Little did they know they would witness more history in the making...

World Champions? While the Italians go into mourning for the phenomenal 1-1 draw our boys pulled out of the great blue yonder, the Kiwis celebrate another deliriously dazzling result and exalt in the glory of our All Whites. While on the other side of the Tasman, not wanting to be outshone, our neighbours join us in celebrating and are suddenly proud to be Kiwi. (Woops! They mean Australasian).

The All Whites have shown us what can be achieved against the odds. But we are also humbled by our boys. They have worked hard in the face of a nation who usually only ever exalts rugby stars (I have been guilty of it myself). And they have won our hearts. From a nation where we have all of 25 professional footballers (Italy have over 3500), our rising stars have brought a proud footballing nation to their knees. These boys have, against all odds, created history. What more could we want?? Nothing! We are champions in our eyes.

GO THE ALL WHITES! Making us proud.

16 Years of Motherhood

Yes, dare I say it, 16 years and she's still going strong. And I am still blessed with her in my life. Those who are touched by my daughter in their lives I believe are also extremely blessed.

We have just spent an hour or so chatting on Skype today and she opened her presents and showed me what she received. It was really neat having her share that time with me and saving her presents to open with me. She has been wonderfully spoilt by her friends and her host family and, of course, by her own family. She couldn't wait to show off her new clothing from the massive shopping spree she went on yesterday - that was my hard earned present to her.

Where have the sixteen years gone? My chubby baby who was dubbed the 'michelin baby' and 'very sucky moto', because she would crawl round the floor hunting down scraps or crumbs to maintain her chubby composition (a bit like a cross between the sumo wrestlers and a vacuum cleaner really), has turned into this wonderful, independent and level-headed teenager of 16. This child who told me I wasn't her mum anymore at the age of 4 (she tried that twice) so I told her to leave and find a new one... and now she HAS found a new one!! Who would have thought that 16 years ago when I came home from Europe to have this wee baby that she would beat me back to Europe??

And how that 16 years has changed me?? I don't drink, I don't smoke and I have a full time job that I love. We have had our many ups and downs and life hasn't been easy for my daughter having a perfectionist for a mum. Not only that but she was meant to be a boy... and when she was a girl she was meant to be a tomboy... it took me a long time to forgive her for being the beautiful girl she is!! :-) She has patched up so many holes in my life how could I not?? This little girl who would cry at the thought I might not go to heaven with her when I die... how cute is that?

And I now understand how these little 8 and a half pound bundle of joys can change your life in ways we don't expect. It doesn't matter what happens, but one quickly realises that once a mum, always a mum - it is an experience similar to losing your virginity, you can never go back to not being a mum. This little bundle of joy has somehow brought me closer to my family, my little sister in Perth, my big sister in NZ and my Mum in Sydney are VIPs in our lives and I dread to think how life would have been or would be without them. And to all the men who have loved my daughter and been the wonderful male role models in her life in the absence of a dad, O'pa, Uncle John, Paul, and Bear I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

So, here I am, I am someone's mum, mum to a very important little someone. And the only reason why I am the person I am today is because of my children, and most particularly, because of my daughter.
Happy Birthday, my beautiful baby girl.
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What a Wonderful World - WWW

Well, my baby has been in France now for 2 months and counting. Things are going really well and she is settling in well. It sounds like she is starting to hold her own in her ability to speak French now which is great, altho she is a bit slow on it. Whatever, I am impressed and extremely proud. But I think one of the most wonderful things in the world is watching how much closer my babies get despite the distance.

The wonders of the internet and it's ability to bring the world closer together should never be undervalued. I love watching my kids bring joy to each other over the internet despite being miles apart. Being an only child in a house with just a mum and staying in a town away from school friends every weekend has got to be tough on a kid so any time my son can get with his sister despite the distance is valued by him. My son misses his sister in ways I can never imagine so it is a comfort to know that he can quite happily connect with her early on weekend mornings, when I am still sleeping and recovering from a long working week, and 'hang out'. I wish I had had such a relationship with my siblings when I was their age.

As for me, I miss my precious baby. I am running long distances now and it hit me, the other day on my run, that it is still another 9 months til she comes home. It's nothing like boarding school where she is just down the road and she can come home when I feel the need to see her. She's a long, long, LONG way from home. But it's ok, I knocked that lump in my throat back into shape and swallowed my tears and continued my run. Every step brings me closer to the homecoming of my more grown up baby. In the meantime we have to blow kisses over cyberspace.

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˙uıɐƃɐ dn ʎɐʍ ʇɥƃıɹ ǝɥʇ suɹnʇ plɹoʍ ʎɯ dǝǝls s,ʇɥƃıu ɐ ɹǝʇɟɐ ǝdoɥ s,ʇǝ˥ ˙ʞɹoʍ oʇ ʞɔɐq ʇǝƃ oʇ ǝʌɐɥ I
¿¿uoıʇɐɹʇuǝɔuoɔ ɹnoʎ dn sʍǝɹɔs ƃuıɥʇ ɟo ʇɹos sıɥʇ ʇı sı ʎɥʍ
˙ǝsɐɔ ǝɥʇ sı ʇɐɥʇ ɟı ǝɯıʇ ɟo ǝʇsɐʍ ɐ llɐ sı sıɥʇ sɐ ǝɯ suǝʇɥƃıɹɟ sıɥ┴ ¿¿sıɥ ǝƃuɐɥɔ uɐɔ ǝɥ ʇɐɥʇ sı ǝɹoɯ ǝɯ sǝıɹɹoʍ ʇɐɥʍ ˙˙˙puıɯ ʎɯ ǝƃuɐɥɔ uɐɔ I ʍoɹɹoɯoʇ ɟı sɐ ,, ˙˙˙uoıʇuǝʇuı ʇuǝɹɹnɔ ǝɥʇ sı sıɥ┴,, sʎɐs ʇɐɥʇ ʇıq ǝɥʇ sı ʇI ˙ɥʇıʍ ʎddɐɥ ǝq oʇ ǝɯ ɹoɟ ǝnƃɐʌ oʇ ɹɐɟ sı ʇuɐʍ I ʇɐɥʍ ǝʞıl ƃuıɥʇǝɯos ɥƃnoɥʇlɐ 'ɥɔıɥʍ ˙oʇ pǝǝɹƃɐ ǝʍ ʇɐɥʍ ʇdǝɔxǝ lɐǝʌǝɹ uɐɔ I ǝlʇʇıl sı ǝɹǝɥʇ puɐ sʞɔɐʇʇɐ lɐuosɹǝd pǝlıǝʌ puɐ sʇuǝɯɯoɔ ʇuɐddılɟ lɐnsn ǝɥʇ ɥʇıʍ pǝʇɔǝdxǝ I sɐ ɥɔnɯ ʇuǝʍ sƃuıɥ┴ ˙lǝǝɟ I ʍoɥ sı sıɥʇ puɐ uoıʇɐıpǝɯ uı uoouɹǝʇɟɐ uɐ 'llǝʍ

So much has been happening in our lives and it's all been wonderful and exciting and a little stressful to boot.

We have been working very hard over the past few months and have finally finished our fundraising and have managed to pay the fee to get our baby to France. We now have to get some spending money together and a little in reserve to ensure we have something left over for any emergencies should they come up. I am obviously very proud of her for scoring two scholarships which have truly helped reduce the fundraising workload. And her dad has come through and offered her some help for the first time in her life and we are very appreciative as I don't think things have been easy for him in recent months.

Jonte has one exam (of five) to go to complete her Year 11 at school and has had a crash course in studying. I brought her home from school to ensure she puts in some quality study time, however, I think I needed to bring her home sooner as her exams were too close to the last day of school for her to really prepare well.

The amazing All Whites test also interfered with her study to some extent. But we wouldn't have missed it for the world. Friends from Auckland came down to stay and we all had a blast watching NZ qualify for the world cup for the first time in 27 years and for the only the second time ever!! So great to be able to take my kids who have now seen some history made - live!! Woohoo, go the All Whites.

Taine is winding down at school and we are yet to decide where he is going next year. Disagreements between myself and his father are such that we are now having to attend mediation. The quality of school his father is attempting to send my son to is somewhat lower than the quality I want and as a teacher I obviously hold a good education very high in my values and priorities and want my children to take advantage of all of the opportunities available to them. His father does not seem to share the same viewpoint and it has become a serious tug of war. No matter how hard we try to avoid our baby boy getting stuck in the middle of what become power struggles it always has some affect on him and it's just not fair. A less important power struggle I would just let go so that he is not affected - it's just not worth it - but this is one argument I am not backing down from... my son will have the best opportunities that life can offer and how he chooses to deal with them will be left up to him.

I have now begun marking for the national exam authority so the push is on. I have to get through all of the exam allocation within the next two weeks. It's weird because it's a two week period of full on work but I actually find it energising and even weirder I have been looking forward to it. Payment for the extra marking will hopefully pay for me to go to France to visit my girl sometime next year... here's hoping.

In a couple of weeks, when I finsh marking, I am hoping I will know where my son is going to school and can relax and enjoy weekend at Auckland where I am attending the Green Day concert and which signifies the beginning of my summer break! Woop Woop!

The Absent Parent

Well, I finally tracked down J's dad again after a 6 months of searching. (He lives in Denmark where he was born and I have not seen him since I visited him just over 15 years ago.) This was the first contact I have had with him for two years as there has never been much to talk to him about. I ask for nothing except to know where he is just in case something happens. I don't make a habit of phoning or emailing him. I mean really what can he do for us in Denmark?? To tell you the truth I have only ever spoken to him about 10 times since the birth of our daughter and the majority of that was at the time she was born to ensure I had his name on her birth certificate. And, so far every time I have tried to contact him, his details have always changed and I have to hunt him down again.

Anyway, around 6 years ago I sent him an email about his attitude when I ring to speak to him (the last time I had spoken to him before that was 4 years and before that had been 4 years too). He has always come across as rather aggressive and defensive when I ring, often beginning with the question 'What do you want?' I reminded him in the email that I haven't ever wanted for anything from him and that I find it offensive he thinks that I do. In the one phone call I have made to him since then (two years ago) his demeanour was far more friendly and receptive and I'm not sure if it's because of the email or just because maybe he is growing up... maybe it's both??

Anyway, I have been proud of my independence and how far I have come in the 15 years since my baby was born. However, after my last entry I decided that I needed to make sure that somehow my baby will get to France and although going without has been somewhat character building for my son and daughter, it wasn't fair that they are the ones doing all the character building. I mean why should they continue to give up so much for his sister when there might be a chance of reprieve? Not only that but I felt that to be fair to my friends and family, who have shown so much support, I needed to swallow my pride a little and approach Jonte's dad and offer him the chance to show her some support too.

So I did it. I tracked him down and made that phone call. Thinking about my email where I had bluntly told him I had never asked for anything made the call all the more harder to make. As you can imagine my nerves were strung like a bow and my hands were shaking. After a friendly Hello from him I balked when it came to the crunch. I couldn't help but express my disapproval of, yet again, having to hunt him down so I didn't make it any easier for myself. But I did do it, I made my offer. And, as you can imagine, he was somewhat threatened by it at first but I made it clear he didn't have to help. Pride dictated that I was not asking for help or money, I was merely offering him the opporunity to - as a friend put it - 'do the right thing' by his daughter.

SHOCK! HORROR! And to give him credit he stated he would be happy to help but was a little concerned as to how it would work. I couldn't believe it and nearly burst into tears on the phone but, thankfully, did not embarrass myself so indecently. I sent him an email explaining the details and received a response at which I did cry as it stated that he was proud of his daughter without knowing her and that he would help in whatever way he could and that he was glad I had tracked him down. Of course, they could all be just words, and although I have little confidence in his word and have not stopped fund-raising and watching every penny, I do have some hope he will pull through.

Today, my confidence in his word has grown as I received an email from him explaining why he hasn't, as yet, sent any money. The weird thing about this email was my reaction to it. After 15 years of having no contact with him except when I have merely been checking whether my contact details for him are still current, it was strange to receive an unsolicited communication from him. I figure it doesn't matter if I see anything from him or not...so be it, Jonte will still get there, it will just be harder and require a sustained effort of watching every penny and being frugal. What is important here is I have given him a chance to do the right thing and can move on. To have him feel the need to explain why he has been slow to send money is a rather odd and foreign thing, money isn't as important as having him say that he is proud of his daughter, maybe that's it. In the end, what does it matter?? Jonte will be going to France with or without his help.

Fundraising Fears

Again I am very proud of my little girl, she has been accepted to go to France for a year as an exchange student. How great is that?? But as you can imagine as a single mom the $10,000 bill I have coming my way is looking rather daunting. So fundraising and saving is very high on the list at the moment. I know in the long run it will pay off as next year I won't have to pay boarding fees. However, it is rather stressful knowing the race is on to reach our target before the debt dogs come baying at our heals wanting it all paid.

The most difficult things to cope with are the hidden costs which keep coming up... like a new passport, the French long stay visa, the cost of vaccinations and medical certs required for the long stay visa and the travel insurance... I'm still not sure what else will come up yet but just when we think we are reaching our goal another cost comes up. It's frightening...

As usual the guardian angels of all single parent families are there to keep an eye on us ... our wonderful family and friends who have offered the most wonderful support and encouragement and a great deal of advice. In a time where economic confidence is low and NZ is in the middle of a depression it hasn't been easy finding funds. Very few companies will support an average little girl who is a mere individual from a semi-middle class family when there are so many more needy groups out there who they consider will do more good within the community.

To my sister who has organised a fashion show for Jonte for which I only have to organise a few nibbles and the seats... oh and sell the tickets, of course - thank you. My younger, wonderful sister who kindly forgives and forgets the birthday presents I don't send her kids - thank you ... god I hope to make up for it one day. To my mum who is struggling on a tight budget herself at the moment but has managed to find a little cash to help our girl out - thank you. As for my friends who are getting plied with tickets for fashion shows, quiz nights and raffles ... and chocolates galore and never complain - a huge thank you. I always wonder what I did right to have you all in my life and I hope I keep doing it because I need you all.

However, I want people to know that the one I am most proud of throughout this, though, is my son. He doesn't complain when I tell him we can't afford lollies or to buy him new clothes or a book. He doesn't complain that he has to have sandwiches for lunch on Mondays now instead of a bought lunch. He doesn't complain when we take our own lunch to the rugby with us and he doesn't complain when I make him help sell chocolates for half an hour before a home rugby game. Thank god the tickets to that were paid for last year! And he knows that he is giving all of this up for his sister. No jealousy or resentment, he just accepts that this is what we do for each other. I'm not sure I would have been such a wonderful sibling at his age and I am in awe.

Anyway, I just want my family and my friends to know that we couldn't do this without you. You are all very special to me and I appreciate everything you have done for me and my children. I hope I get to return the favour myself in the near future.
Hugz
B
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