Wedded Bliss?

Wedded Bliss?
I often get the feeling people think I'm somehow defective for not having been married and not wanting to be. I often get asked why? And it's a hard one to answer. It's not that I've not had my 'suitors' coz I have, it's more that it's never been something I wanted. Just as some people want to travel while others don't or some people want to climb the career ladder while others don't, I just don't want to be married.

So why is it that someone who enjoys a fulfilling single life is seen to be defective by so many dissatisfied people who wear their marriage like a badge? Like it's some sort of proof that they are OK and loved. Why is it so many people need this? And why am I so sure it's not what I need? It's funny, I like the idea of having someone special to spoil and love and share rare moments with but I'm lucky enough to have a circle of friends who offer that. Sometimes I will look at the moon on a clear and cool night and just smile at how good life can be merely because I am. Each day I breathe and I know I'm alive and somehow I know I am loved, not necessarily by others but by me. I live the life I love.

The weird thing is that the less fulfilled a person seems to be in their marriage the more they appear to judge me for not wanting to be. While those who have found their soul mates and have wonderful and fulfilling marriages genuinely fear that, if I don't find my own soul mate, I will grow old and be lonely (that's why I love you Melanie and Andrew :). They are some of my dearest friends and I love them and admire the wonderful relationships they have. And also love that they respect my decision.

And I don't understand why it's so hard for so many to come to terms with the idea that I don't intend to grow old, anyway. Seriously! I'm the most existential person you could meet and yet I'm slowly being convinced I might live for a very long time yet. And then I panic! Shit! That's not meant to happen. I have no plan to get old. It's not that I expect to be young forever, I just don't think about it. I live for the 'here and now', the next party, the next sports game, the next trip overseas. Time and money are my enemy. I dislike them and they keep working against me to stop me from truly living. There are so many things to do and so little time and money to do it. I particularly hate sleeping for that reason - it seems like such a waste of a third of my life. Life is for living, not chasing the dollar and sleeping.

I love being part of this world and it's history