R.I.P. Rodney: 21 June 1967 - 5 July 2013

This is the eulogy my sisters and mother gathered together to write in memory of our late brother. I just wanted to share the Rodney we knew with those people who have offered us their love and support despite not knowing him. 

Born on Nana’s birthday, Rodney was her only grandson. Cheryl Golding, who was in the home at the same time, says of him “He had a rough time from the minute he was born” and that is the truth of it. As a baby he slept little and ate much. He was climbing before he was walking and had to have his cot-side down before he was 10 months old so he wouldn’t fall while trying to climb out. He had his first migraine at around 18 months old which hospitalised him for a week and began the closure of his left eye.

He loved pulling things apart and playing with the neighbour’s children – Paul Golding and Andrew Russell. His favourite toys were his tractor and his 3 wheeler trike which he didn’t know how to make move so Paul and Andrew got the honour of pushing him around on it.

As a toddler he was always a tearaway. He made his stage debut the first Christmas after his toddler reins were removed when he disappeared while out shopping. Mum found him in the display window surrounded by a crowd. He was running around and around the revolving display holding up the 6 foot Christmas candle he’d knocked off its axis yelling “Mum! Help me!”

It wasn’t long after this that Rodney began his hitching days. One day when Dad was coming home from work for his lunch he picked Rodney up hitchhiking on Gorge Road. Rodney was carrying a possum trap and said “I’ve been possuming Dad.”  - He was 4 years old.

His primary school days were measured by his migraines and visits to the hospital with his ‘mate’ Sonny Jim. His first day of school was one of those few non-eventful days we had with Rodney in our lives.

As a child Rodney loved pies, fishing, pies, camping and pies. On family holidays he enjoyed visits to the Waiouru Military Museum. He loved building things and built his own bicycle for a school cycling trip; and his own toboggan, which we all had turns on up the mountain. It was during this time he became well known amongst friends’ and neighbours’ children – but we won’t mention why.

At 6 Rodney had had enough of home and decided to run away. He took the dog, a tin of dog food, a loaf of frozen bread and his 2 year old sister, Selina. He got as far as Mangaone Road (a little over a mile down the road), where he hid until he saw Dad coming. He then stood up in the long grass and yelled “Hide! Coz here comes Dad!”

He struggled learning to read which launched Mr Moore (our primary school principal) on an anti-dyslexic campaign and resulted in Rodney jumping 4 reading levels in 6 months and he never looked back. Corporal punishment was still considered effective in those days and Rodney developed an intimate relationship with “Black Death” – the pet-name our principal had given to his strap.

We often accompanied our brother on excursions to the back paddock to go, pine-coning, or fishing or building dams and hunting for crawlies in the creek. We loved to dare each other to crawl through the culvert under the crossing between the front and the back of the paddock – one of those things you didn’t do unless you went the whole way or wanted to have to crawl out backwards.

He didn’t take well to secondary school life. But the school took it worse. He quickly worked out his Year 9 maths teacher was still learning the Year 9 curriculum and reading one chapter ahead in the text book at night – so Rodney started reading two chapters ahead and asking questions from those chapters. Rodney was one of the only kids who learnt just to spite his teachers.

This is when Rodney became a jack of all trades. He could make anything. He began playing with electronics and making radios, made a wood inlaid chess box, and got Dad’s go-cart going (a door with an old lawn-mower motor and pram wheels). He also began experimenting with playing a guitar and discovered Bob Marley, Jimi Hendrix, Metallica and Frank Zappa.

It was in his teens he developed a love for motorcycles and his dog, Bessy. He became a familiar sight riding his motorbike with his dog on the tank. Bessy shared all of Rodney’s trials and tribulations and became his closest confidante.

Rodney couldn’t get out of school fast enough but wasn’t allowed to leave school until he had a job. So 6 weeks after his 15^th birthday he got his leaving certificate; coincidentally, on the same day as I (Suzette) did, and went milking for neighbours.  Rodney had a variety of jobs including becoming a theatre aid at Wellington Hospital which suited the macabre side of his sense of humour – as he got many chances to put people off their food retelling his ‘better work place stories’ around the dinner table. During this time he developed a close bond with a very close family friend, Tim Dollimore and they had a number of adventures together.  It wasn’t long until he made the move across the ditch to Australia – and was kindly sent home 3 years later by the Australian government free of charge and became one of few people who have been deported from a convict colony.

On his return he lived with Mum in Wellington and picked up his friendship with Tim, pretty much where they left off. He enrolled in, and dropped out of, a computer course where he was given an assignment which he completed without a problem but didn't agree with the tutors who tried to tell him it was wrong – if we know Rodney, the tutors were wrong and Rodney was right.

It was also around this time he met his lovely wife Kirsty but it took him many years to work out what, or who, was best for him. After a great deal of too-ing and fro-ing he followed her to Christchurch where he took his vows and became her husband. Two years later we gained our newest wee member of the Thompson Tribe – Amy, now 8 – who became the most precious thing in his life. Daddy’s princess was named after Grandma – Amy – for whom Rodney could do no wrong. His life with his princess was short but special for all who got to witness it… and now we say our final goodbye to the son, brother, husband and father who always struggled with the establishments which confined him. The struggle is over now brother and now you can rest easy.

We want to thank Rodney’s friends and extended family for the love and support they have given to him and us throughout his life. Particularly those who were there for him in recent years and months who we did not get to know – the staff and boarders at Mary’s guest house and his bosses and colleagues at Wire Display Systems – it is heart-warming to know that Rodney was surrounded with people who respected him and spoke well of him.

Before I go I want to read you a memory of our brother an old family friend sent on hearing of his untimely accident

“I just wanted to message you to say how sad I am to hear of Rodney’s passing.

Thinking of you and your family brought back a lot of memories of visiting your family in Te Horo.  – the drive there – will we see the man in his undies with tin flowers today? Swimming in the creek, crossing paddocks with electric fences and bulls that would charge you.

And then I thought of a night in Wellington, I’d been out having a party, the night didn't end well and I was sitting on the side of the street feeling low when some random guy sat next to me and started talking. It took me a few moments to realise that guy was Rodney – he didn't know who I was when he sat down either. He shared a smoke with me, made me get up on my feet again and get myself home safely.

A lot of people probably looked at him as someone who needed help, but I never forgot that night and looked at him as someone who helped me. I've never really told anyone that story before. Vanessa"

Please feel free to comment on my blog and share your own memories/experiences of Rodney, My sisters and I would love to hear them. We heard a few at his funeral but I'm sure there were some who felt too shy to share or who weren't able to make it.